The 1 Way You're Sabotaging Your Contentment in Life
We all fail. I'm not talking about the inevitable life failures that happen. I'm talking about the fact that we tell ourselves that we fail, all the time. And that is the one way we sabotage our contentment in life.
Don't think you do this? Sounds ludicrous, right-- why would you tell yourself you fail, all the time?
Have you guys thought any of these things, even just this morning?
"Shouldn't have stayed up watching Netflix, now I only got 6 hours of sleep."
"Forgot to prep my breakfast last night- there goes my healthy eating plan."
"Hit snooze and missed my yoga class. How do those people do it every day?"
"I really need to get on my workout routine. I just don't have time."
Pretty common, I'd say. I sure hear it all-- and I am totally guilty of doing the same!
Through my favorite Brené Brown, I found this insightful quote by Lynne Twist:
"For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is, "I didn't get enough sleep." The next one is, "I don't have enough time." Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it.
We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don't have enough of... Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we're already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something.
And by the time we go to bed at night, our minds are racing with a litany of what we didn't get, or didn't get done, that day. We go to sleep burdened by those thoughts and wake up to the reverie of lack...
This internal condition of scarcity, this mind-set of scarcity, lives at the very heart of our jealousies, our greed, our prejudice, and our arguments with life."
It's hard to be happy or satisfied when you're constantly telling yourself that you are essentially failing left and right. Not enough sleep, missed workout, ate unhealthily, don't make enough money, want to buy that expensive thing, want to pick up on that hobby or passion project. We live in a culture that encourages us to constantly be in a state of "want." Wanting pretty things, expensive toys, likes on social media, to be a globetrotter, svelte figures, etc. But by assigning our satisfaction to and thinking that you'll be happy when you reach a certain number on the scale, have 100k Instagram followers, more expensive clothes, and the like... it's really difficult to find contentment when you're always chasing.
This is not to be confused with saying you shouldn't strive for more in life or to be complacent; it's more about shifting your mindset at how you look at these situations.
Lynne goes on to describe how to replace scarcity with sufficiency:
“We each have the choice in any setting to step back and let go of the mindset of scarcity. Once we let go of scarcity, we discover the surprising truth of sufficiency. By sufficiency, I don’t mean a quantity of anything. Sufficiency isn’t two steps up from poverty or one step short of abundance. It isn’t a measure of barely enough or more than enough. Sufficiency isn’t an amount at all. It is an experience, a context we generate, a declaration, a knowing that there is enough, and that we are enough.
Sufficiency resides inside of each of us, and we can call it forward. It is a consciousness, an attention, an intentional choosing of the way we think about our circumstances. In our relationships with money, it is using money in a way that expresses our integrity; using it in a way that expresses value rather than determines value. Sufficiency is not a message about simplicity or about cutting back and lowering expectations. Sufficiency doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive or aspire . . . sufficiency is a context we bring forth from within that reminds us that if we look around us and within ourselves, we will find what we need. There is always enough.”
So for this week, try reframing these thoughts while thinking about your goals and wants. Rather than constantly trying to pick yourself up from little every day fails, start attending to things with a mindset of sufficiency. Open those eyes and take a look around at what is already there, instead of blindly chasing down something-- you just might find that what you're chasing has already been here all along, but it just might look a little differently ❤️️
…But the other day as I walked out of my therapist’s office onto a sunshine-doused sidewalk with spring blossoms scattered about, I closed my eyes and stood there for a moment; overwhelmed, not only by my gratitude to my situation that allows me to see a therapist regularly again, but also the fact that I started on this journey some 5 years ago. I was then reminded that May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and it finally felt like the right time to talk more in depth about my process with therapy over the past few years and why I think there is not a single person on this earth that can’t benefit from it in spades.
The concept of confidence was demonstrated and told to me in so many different ways while growing up. Particularly in my formative years, while struggling to transition out of an athletic career that was all I had known my whole life, knowing who I was outside of the bravado of competitive skating was a completely disruptive experience. All I desperately wanted was to feel confident and comfortable in my own skin, so I started chasing after what I had been told what confidence truly meant.
After reflecting on what helps root my self-confidence now, I narrowed it down to these 5 specific habits that I've established over the years to help me gain genuine self-confidence-- and I hope these help you!
I always love the concept of taking stock of the progressions that have happened in a given period of time in order to appreciate and remind myself of the bigger picture, but I didn't think I wanted to write a 2017 recap post until yesterday. I did little recaps the past two years (2016, 2015), but this year I want to do a little bit of a different recap than just taking this past year into stock. I want to remind you that it is a New Year, yes, but you are the same amazing you you've been in all the years past-- and that is the same person entering 2018.
This is not just a post about paying gratitude and wishing everyone a happy Thanksgiving-- while I will do that here as well, the series of events that happened over the past 36 hours made me think about gratitude in a deeper way.
The word, "gratitude," is thrown around so often nowadays in this age during which people are realizing more and more how integral our mental health + mindset is to our quality of life. But the concept of what it means to live with gratitude and having an active practice of gratitude tends to get a little muddled up along the way. And sometimes the way we describe it can feel...
How I start my day is so important to me- having a healthy morning routine in place can totally set the tone for the entire day. Clearer mindset, better mood, and increased productivity are some major benefits you can experience when you have a calmer morning routine established, instead of that frenzied 10 minute rush to get out the door after 5 alarm snoozes that we are all familiar with.
Morning routines are also the perfect opportunity to establish some healthier habits towards a better lifestyle shift. I've written about my 5 easy hacks for a better morning routine, but I wanted to share some specific things I've been doing lately in mine that have made notable differences.
This is 27?? This year, my birthday TOTALLY snuck up on me. Is this what it means to reach your late 20's? 😂
I don't have time to go through old photos to piece together memories from this past year, but I really wanted to notate a few things that I could look back on a year from now, to see how much has happened since then too!
So on the fly (in no particular order), I'm listing off 27 impactful things that have happened + lessons I've learned this year that I am really grateful for.
Oh, being an introvert. While I wouldn't trade it for anything, there's no denying that having this type of personality poses for some unique challenges in a world that is more social and connected than ever before. From balancing your own special set of self-care needs with work obligations, not to mention your social life, it can feel like you're constantly struggling in that perilous 5% zone of your battery. It's been a process to learn how to be an introvert in an extroverted world and industry-- and I still don't have it nailed down yet, but I have found things that have helped me thrive.
Well. Just did two things I've never done before. I posted a video of myself deadlifting yesterday on my Instagram Stories, and then I just posted a full-body mirror selfie on Instagram for the purposes of this message. Recently I asked one of my old co-workers from Equinox and trusted fellow trainer to train me and program for me. This may come as a surprise or even might make some of you confused-- after all, I'm a trainer, so why on earth would I need someone to train me?
I'm sharing this with you all today because I want to dispel the negative stigma around asking for help.
Two primary reasons: Firstly, I am busier and more stressed than I've ever been, leaving me very little brain + energy left to be a coach to myself. My second reason is that
Here's the thing. Living authentically doesn't mean being chipper and happy all the time-- living authentically means owning your reality, facing our fears, and chasing wholeness over happiness. For me, it was only lately that I realized how out of touch with myself I had gotten this past year, because I have been feeling more like myself than I have in a long time. After all, it's only when you come up for air, do you realize you had been holding your breath...
I'm a huge advocate of being forward when it comes to your business. It may go against my introvert tendencies sometimes, but as an entrepreneur or a small business owner, you are essentially your only advocate. If you don't drive your business's train, it just doesn't move.
When you are trying to create a business or further your career, you can't be complacent and wait for opportunity to come to you. You have to get out there, and yes, that tired word: network. Cold-emailing and asking people for a breakfast meeting or to coffee can be intimidating, because no one likes to be ignored or rejected right?
Well, that chance of rejection is always still there. But today I'm going to help you guys boost your chances at getting responses from people, as well as covering THE most important thing when cold-emailing someone: HOW you ask them. These are absolute musts when cold-emailing, pitching, or asking someone to meet over coffee.
Happy hump day and first day of March, everyone! It's been awhile since I've done a Wellness Wednesday, and what's a better topic to jump back in with, than talking about how to get back on the fitness wagon?
I'm a big proponent of doing the little bits of effort everyday to stay on the wagon, because it is much easier to maintain being on the wagon than it is to get back on it. But sometimes life and shit happens and you go through phases. And suddenly, you find yourself on your butt, off the wagon. A basic principle of behavioral modification that my Precision Nutrition coaching taught me to teach my clients, is that you need to master a goal before you can add a...
We all fail. I'm not talking about the inevitable life failures that happen. I'm talking about the fact that we tell ourselves that we fail, all the time. And that is the one way we sabotage our contentment in life.
Don't think you do this? Sounds ludicrous, right-- why would you tell yourself you fail, all the time? Have you guys thought any of these things, even just this morning?
Being a strong communicator is one of the few key skills that helps you in every single aspect of your life. Good communication helps you be a better colleague, boss, intern, parent, husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, friend, daughter/son, sibling, and the list goes on.
When I ask you, "what's the best way to be a better communicator" what is the first thing that pops into your mind? Word-choice? Body-language? Thinking through your thoughts before you speak? Talking confidently and clearly?
Actually, I really don't think the answer doesn't have anything to do with talking at all...
More than ever, time has become our most precious commodity. So many professions now don't rely on punching in on a clock-- it's not about how much you're working, it's how much you're producing. Because we all know that busy ≠ productive. In a world where distractions are aplenty, it's really difficult to really utilize your time to the max. We all would love to nail how to be more productive, but working as a small business owner or freelancer can bring unique challenges since you have to be your own boss, secretary, and worker all by yourself.
Working remotely from home also can make it tempting to run an unstructured day, but this leads to an unhealthy work-life balance because you're...
Before you start jumping down the rabbit hole of 0 to 60mph New Years resolutions, a juice cleanse/detox, or any type of “health reset” I want you to pause for a moment.
If you're in need of some bigger changes with your health that you've been scared or reluctant to start, ask yourself these 4 questions to help you roadmap your way to lasting success. But if you're generally pleased with where you are and just have a couple habits you'd like to improve upon or if you just want to start one little step at a time, I've got 8 easy hacks to kickstart your health.
Starting right now, this season, let's live intentionally instead of passively.
Don't let yourself get lazy and live out of habit rather than intent.
The life, connection, and deeper fulfillment we all desire doesn't just happen upon us.
It's a result of practicing intentional living, day by day.
Being intentional with...
It's really hard to fathom that we are now in November, and there's a mere 2 months left of 2016. The leaves are falling, storefronts are all on the Thanksgiving and Christmas trains already, and everyone is left wondering where the time has gone so quickly yet again.
On the personal front, I'm feeling a bit melancholy these days. While it's easy to just say I'm feeling blue and call it a day, I'm working on digging a little deeper into those feelings, to better understand why I'm truly feeling this way. Which is why I've been ruminating and reflecting, trying to step back to see the bigger picture. It's been awhile since I've done a personal update, and so I wanted to share some of my autumn reflections and intentions with you guys incase any of you might be feeling similarly...
"Every time we choose courage, we make everyone around us a little better and the world a little braver. And our world could stand to be a little kinder and braver."
-Brené Brown
I've always found it funny how we work so hard to conceal the best parts of ourselves.
Our vulnerability. Our emotions. Our heart.
These are the beautiful parts of us that...
I think most women and a good chunk of men have thought this at one point or another:
"I'm doing all the right things: mostly eating well and working out, but why does my fitness progress always seem to fluctuate and yo-yo?"
Have you or anyone else found themselves in a constant, never-ending state of "trying to cut those last few pounds?" It is so understandably frustrating to feel like you are constantly fighting an uphill battle, and never being satisfied for too long.
I've noticed...
Shit Happens.
Sorry, Mom!
But seriously. Life is full of hardships, and undeserved obstacles that can come without explanation. Sometimes there is no rhyme and reason. And it's really, really not fair. But no question about it- it's not a matter of "if" they'll happen to you. It's "when."
And guys?
A question I get frequently from newer clients and on social media especially, is HOW I manage to workout 6 days a week and lead a healthy lifestyle. Because it's the never-ending chase for most people, right? How to manage chasing a healthy lifestyle and a consistent...
If you've been following me for awhile, you are well aware of how important the practice of gratitude is to me. I firmly believe that it is crucial to everyday happiness-- and the physical and mental benefits of practicing gratitude have long been backed by science.
As I mentioned yesterday...
It's taken me ten years of rollercoaster ups and downs to hell and back, and I'm sure I'll encounter more challenges in the road ahead of me when it comes to this, but after feeling prisoner in my own body for so long, I finally, finally feel free. Liberated, from the chains I allowed to be put on myself and from the chains I put on myself too. Maybe it is...
We live in a world of non-stop stimulus. Alerts from texts, emails, tweets, snaps, 'grams, and that's all just from our smartphones. Electronic screen time takes up most everyone's days in such a massive way that most of us don't want to really acknowledge. Because, face it, it's depressing that we spend more time with our...
Happy Wellness Wednesday! This week's edition is all about nailing that morning routine, because let's face it, many of us can improve on this one. How many of you have thought this, first thing in the morning:
It's officially Wellness Wednesday, and I'm continuing on with my new series today with my #1 priority for optimal health: SLEEP!
I have a secret to admit...
Truthful Thursday over here today, folks. An encouraging reminder to own your reality and check in with yourself and your self-awareness.
I have two questions I want you guys to ask yourself today:
Hello, Spring! We are three days into this season of renewal, so what better time for some fresh and inspiring new perspectives? Apologies to you all for my being a bit AWOL, a lot of life is happening outside these blogger walls and I hope to soon be able to disclose some good news. But first!
Today, I'm stealing some words of wisdom from beautiful women, in hopes that...
Our lives are about change. More accurately, they are change. We are ever-changing, ever-evolving human beings. If you resist and fight the change, you're standing still while the rest of the world continues to surge ahead. But while you surge ahead with the world, it's equally as important to take stock of the process and find contentment as well...


No matter who you are or what you do, if you are a human with a functional brain and bodily system, you experience stress. From CEO’s to scientists to stay-at-home moms to bus drivers, stress affects us all. Because of this universally shared experience, we are bombarded with advice articles on “best ways to eliminate stress,” “how to de-stress,” and there are so many products sold that promise to help make you melt or “bust” the stress out of your life.